Redefining The Future #3

These pages were inspired by my assignment. I picked the following:

Juicy Word: Juicy

Emotion: Elation

Media: Nature

The nature is a piece of birch tree that i found in Manuel Antonio National Park. On the birch branch I pasted the words "All nature sheds its skin" which is then pasted onto a photograph I took of myself. The image opposite is another image of my breasts with the phrase:

"Each time you embrace something new, you bring into yourself a sense of aliveness." which is from Living with Joy by Sanaya Roman which is bringing me a lot of peace recently. So, the nature is the birch bark, I figure I've got juicy covered with pictures of my breasts (!) and elation is represented truly with this process. I'm just so excited to not only be creating again, but to be sharing it.

Redefining The Future #2

If I had to describe where I feel I've been the past year or so, I'd probably relate it to a fast forward scene from the movie Click where Adam Sandler is there in body but his spirit isn't really there. These next pages represent this feeling more.

This page has black and white images of roses with the phrase: "Round and round and round we go where it stops nobody knows" in a spiral. I feel like I am on a merry-go-round and I'm dying to get off. I'm on this merry-go-round because of John, my circumstances, work, my new country, my dogs, my house, my employees, my friends (or lack thereof), not having enough money, time, resources, friends, love, passion, etc. (you get the picture, right?) But REALLY, I've handcuffed my own hand to the center and swallowed the key AND (if you can stand another metaphor) refuse to poop it out!

My wedding was a weekend that I look back on that represents my ultimate self-expression. The joy of having everyone in my life around me, celebrating my commitment to John, honoring the important people in my life - it was truly marvelous. I've chosen a picture from my wedding where John and I are kissing while the people around us are trying to gather themselves together for a photograph. An image representing being present in the moment despite all that is going on around you, despite the chaos. Over the past months/years, I've gradually distanced myself from that time - time has gradually changed relationships and so has geography. Being present in my marriage to love and passion is difficult when things don't look the way I want them to look. And so, I've decorated my life nicely - nice, colorful wallpaper; bright borders and sleek curtains to shield me/to hide from the world (and myself) my growing discontent in my life. A veil per say, to hide myself and hide FROM myself the fact that I allow the chaos to distract the moments of bliss and love.

The funny thing is that I had the hardest time with this page - keeping it neat and pretty which is such a metaphor to my life - that although I try hard to keep it pretty, I'm not truly hiding anything and if I spent a little less time in hiding and making it look a certain way, that I might actually find that bliss again.

Redefining The Future #1

The title of the book that I am altering is "Redefining The Future" which seems to define the space that I am in right now. I feel like I'm at a crossroads and the goddess card Pele, representing Awakenings is what I needed to snap out of this fog that I have been walking in.

These first two pages set the state for the journey of redefining MY future.

This page is called Pieces which consists of 9 mirrors with one piece not quite aligned, which is where I am at - all my pieces not quite together. I used the mirrors so that I am always reflected (that's me in the picture!!) and reminded of my journey - but also so that others that are reading/looking at the book can join my journey too - and as evolved as we get, or that we are - I think everyone can relate to at least one piece being not quite aligned. I think the goal - instead of getting the pieces aligned - is simply being at peace (ha! I wrote piece instead!) with the fact that they might never be.

This page includes a quote from The Talmud:

"Every blade of grass has its Angel that bends over it and whispers 'grow, grow' ".

I absolutely love this quote and believe it truly, although I think most times I just can't (or won't) hear it...